Change

I'm in a funk. A weird one. It's the kind of funk when I know everything is ok, and everything will be just fine, but I feel like something isn't right...or that most things aren't right. I don't know what it is. I feel like I "didn't get the memo" about life. Maybe it's the stress of going to school, maybe it's the upcoming furlough that will minimize my paycheck by 20%, maybe a combination, but the scary thing is... maybe it's something that I don't even know about yet. Sometimes I scare myself with these premonitions...Ok, I'm not psychic, but you know what I mean. On a good note, I finally got promoted (a thousand years later) and I got a new car which I love. I just don't get it. I feel some sort of disconnect.

What did the memo say? Who got one? Can you send me a copy? I'm begging here.

Back to the "good stuff"...Nick started baseball. He's only gone to like 2 practices so far, but he likes it and I'm glad because he needed a change. Tae Kwon Do was getting old to him. Not to down-talk Tae Kwon Do, cuz it was an awesome learning experience for all of us, but he's 8 and he gets bored of stuff easily.

Oh, and did I mention that it feels like my back is broken? Right now it's not so bad, thanks to a muscle relaxer and an anti-inflammatory, but omg, all day long for the last 4 days I've felt about 800 years old.

I think I just need to change it up a bit....that's gonna be the plan. I need to make some changes if I expect different results from one day to the next. Being more careful about my diet (not that I'm on a diet...I use that term loosely), and doing stuff. School is taking up a big part of my life outside of work and I need to make some changes, however small they need to be. I need something different to happen so I can feel a little better about what's going on with me. I have at least 6 weeks until finals, so I guess I should be excited that's not any sooner than it is.

See, and typing this all out, I feel like I'm being a bit of a drama queen (WHO???ME????) but like I said, I know everything is fine, it's just that I don't FEEL fine. Let's fix this...and by "let's", I mean "I'll" but I apparently could use some help....haha. Whatever. It's almost spring break...you know, the spring break where I still have to go to work and still have assignments due. ugh. Whatever....it is what it is...

Stink

Ok, well here it goes....but first of all, just because I've decided to go back to school, that doesn't mean all of you (Melissa) need to grammar police my ass. Unless you're grading me or giving me a degree, stop it. :) But really, school is going good so far. I mean, I'm only into the easy stuff so far, but time management-wise, I'm doing good...I think. Although I could be doing homework instead of blogggggging, but WHAT is the FUN in THAT?!? So, let's talk about school...I know that I have friends as old or older than me that are in school and all that, but in my classes, I am a grandma. In one class we are in groups "introducing ourselves" and this is what I hear: "...oh yeah, Timberline?...oh what class?...2012??? ME TOO" omg. I'm old. ancient even. FML. and shut your face, you babyfaced asshats. Wanna talk about math class...yeah, it's simple algebra, baby algebra...it is easy...if I was in high school last year. But it's been a few years....try a THOUSAND. ugh. It's ok, Little Melissa told me yesterday "You may feel old, but just remember, you're the coolest one in the class". you know what, she's probably right. haha.

Although, when I'm on campus, I just...I just realize that I just did everything in my life so ASS BACKWARDS. You're supposed to go to college, party, live in the dorms...then you graduate, date get a career that you love....then get married and have kids and live together happily ever after...well, apparently I didn't get that memo. Or I did, but I'm illiterate cuz I read that shit WRONG. Don't get it twisted, I love my son and I would never take that back, but whoa. High School, partying, kid, half assed career I'm not so happy about, now school. Well, I guess it's better late than never. Plus, I probably would be ....god, if I hadn't had Nick when I did, I probably would have never grown up. Well, you know what I mean, like financially...not mentally. I'll always be like this....lol.

Kids are nuts....don't even get me started on my son. He's the funniest damn kid ever. He's got an awesome sense of humor.....sometimes. Lately, all that comes out of his mouth is "Mom, you stink"...and it was funny. the first 2 times but we are now on about 5 days of constant stinking, and I'm starting to get a complex. And since he's a Camo belt in Tae Kwon Do he thinks he can kick my ass, so that's fun. He is still having some issues with falling asleep at night so we've tried a couple things, anyway, I get home from school last night and it's about 9, and he's already in bed because we had to move up bed time to 8:30 (ew, right?!) so I walk in to his room and he automatically rats himself out "I'm sorry I couldn't sleep and was playing with toys". Someday he'll learn to just keep his mouth shut. So he got himself grounded for the day today just because his sleeping is such a big deal lately and he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. No biggie, being grounded just no games or TV. WRONG - it's a HUGE deal. That's all he wants to do so all day today I hear "well, what can I do to get ungrounded" and "I sure wish I was grounded " I told him that if he gets a job and moves out, he'll never get grounded again. He didn't like that answer.

Oh and for all the haters out there...BSU still is badass. I stand by the Broncos...and not just because I have to. :)

Clipboard

Holy Crapcicles. Yeah, I said it....and I almost threw up thinking about it. Guess what?!? It's only been about 47 years since I blogged. No exaggeration, at all. I don't even know what a "blog" is anymore. I could read some other ones, but then I'll just copy them and that wouldn't be fair. To them, cuz I'm awesome. Or something....aaaaaaanyway...since it's been 47 years, 4 months, 26 days, 8 hours, 52 minutes, and 7 seconds since my last post, let's do a quick run down of what has happened.

My studly son is about to start 2nd emmeffin grade, and not to mention, he is a hardcore CAMO belt in Tae Kwon Do. He's a baaaaad mamajamma.  You should see his moves. No really, you should. They are on my FB. And this better be the best damn year of his life in school, because (NO SHIT) I spent about 40 bucks on school supplies...to include a clipboard. wtf does a second grader do with a clipboard....and three sided pencils. I don't know, but his school better make cool things happen.

In the midst of my sons BADASSNESS, I have enrolled at BSU. I'm a Bronco. Believe it. And if you think I won't beat your ass for talking down about my Broncos, then you're right, but I will delete your hateful comments. so there. nanny nanny boo boo. I will be starting school in less than two weeks (I almost just pooped...I'm THAT nervous) and I'm taking on way more than I probably should. Besides the fact that I will be working 40 hours a week in hell...I mean, at my job, and I am forced to attend drill once a month, I am scheduled for 3 classes on campus and one online. My life is about to suck. I am dead set on kicking this semesters ass though, so next semester I can slack off a little and not feel so bad. I just REALLY REALLY don't want it to take me 10 years to get a Bachelors. I don't have the patience for that.
                    What are you going to school for, you ask? You may need to sit down for this....
                                                                                    Biology, with an emphasis in Zoology.
                    Why Biology and Zoology, you ask? This is about to BLOW YOUR MIND
   It has a lot to do with the fact that people are really really special, in the way that makes me want to hit them in their throats. And, I love little cute cuddly baby animals. TRUTH.

So, with all that being said, I can only imagine that your mind has been BLOWN and you are wAy too tired to read more, so I'll let you retire to your slumber and I'll catch you up on my random thoughts next time....Oh, like that Burger King commercial where the dad is all "Let's BBQ" (well, he says barbecue, not B B Q)...anyway, and he takes his kids to BK. That is the saddest shit I have ever seen....in all 87 years of my life. Whatever. Do the math. I'm awesome. Toodles.

valentines-shmalentines

Yeah, it's a dramatically ridiculous day for us single folk. You know, I'm glad for all my fb friends that had such a glorious day, because they deserve it. I mean, putting up with somebody day in and day out deserves a random day of presents...but SHUT UP!!! Us single losers get so sick of hearing about how perfect your day was, how delicious your dinner was and how awesome your flowers smell. It's a little overwhelming, as you can see...

Breathe.....1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

Ok, now that I got that out....I would like to say I haven't been up in this bizzy because I've been busy, but that's not absolutely true. We have a couple things going on though...Mr. Nick is in Tae Kwon Do, and that takes up an hour of 2 of our weeknights...then I have Sons of Anarchy night with Julie on Thursdays....ok, well, that's about it....oh...I suck....pft.

 Well, we've been doing a LOT of reading around here. Nick has drastically improved in his reading abilities in the last month, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm not gonna lie though, I'm pretty sure that he's going to get better....we got karaoke CDs. He is learning to read a little bit faster doing that. He might have a little obsession...Whatever it takes to take him to the top....right?  haha. It is really awesome to listen to/watch though...

I just asked Nick what he wants to be when he grow up, and his answer was "Maybe a teacher"..."so I can tell the kids what to do"....I have a damn genius on my hands...a bossy one. I really wish I had a voice recorder with me to catch all the conversations we have. 

Ok, and there is just ONE more thing I wanted to touch on real quick. The drivers today...ABSOLUTELY STUPID!!! There is a difference between space to get over and following distance. You don't need to try and squeeze your stupid ass in my following distance because usually that means you will instantaneously slam on your breaks (always, for some reason) and then that makes me want to slam my car into the back of your head...i mean, car. wtf is wrong with people...really?

CHOP

Wow, it's been a while. I haven't felt there was much to post about. I suppose there hasn't been much change, but I feel like I should make an attempt.......Let's get this show on the road and let's talk about today.....

Today, my alarm went off at 5:25am, and my poor son got up out of bed (it's a big deal to sleep in mom's "new" bed) and turned off his alarm. It's only a little funny. Poor feller. I told him to lay back down and go back to sleep and it was my alarm and that I'd turn his back on before I went to work. You'll never guess, but I forgot. So, I ruined his morning.....twice! He will wake up to his alarm like a champ, but he fights it when a real person tries to wake him up.
Besides me hating and ruining mornings, today was pretty eventful...I had a job interview, which may "make or break" this funk I've been in. Just not feeling myself lately. I was so damn nervous. I don't even know why, really. I mean, the job interview is a main decider in whether I get the job or not, but the interview-ers were all very welcoming...it wasn't them, but I WAS ON FIRE!!! Not like, badass, but I literally felt like my BODY WAS ON FIRE. It obviously wasn't, otherwise I'd be in a burn unit or something. But oh em gee. Well, we'll see. They said it could take 2-3 years to get an answer...just a little exaggeration there...


The second big thing was...Nick's first day of Tae Kwon Do. It was a little frustrating to watch because, well, he wasn't paying attention half the time. But the other half, he was having fun. Unfortunately, his...uniform, Gi, Dobok....cute little white suit (hahaha, sorry) hadn't made it in time for his first day, so he stuck out like a sore thumb. Should be in by Friday though.

Since then, Nick managed to get himself in trouble and went to bed sobbing. Poor little feller, life is ROUGH...I need to get this done because I have some reading to do (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo)...so...off I go...

Custodial

Today, I sat here and played a zombie shooting game for about 5 hours. When everybody else decided they had better things to do (watch movies and tv shows), I minimized all programs and saw a picture of my son as my desktop picture on my lappy toppy. Then I started thinking how much I miss and love him. And then I realized that, besides a month long “vacation” (Hurricane Katrina clean-up) back in 2005 with the Guard, this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing my son (BY A LONG SHOT). I’m sure that everybody else on this deployment has their story about who has been away from their kid the longest and blah blah blah, but this isn’t their story, now is it?!? And they wouldn’t tell it as good as me anyway. Ha. Anyway, then I started thinking, even when he is driving me up a wall, I don’t ever want to be away from him for more than a day. Don’t get me wrong, a night out, or a weekend away is always enjoyed, but there is always a thought in the back of a parents head like “wonder what the kids doing” or “wonder if he even realizes I’m gone” ha. Well, I take that back, it’s the good parents that are worried about it.

You see, I’ve never NOT been the custodial parent of Nick. He has spent the night at friends houses, and weekends with family, but this is just ridiculous. I couldn’t imagine being a parent that only sees their kids every other weekend or just two weeks in the summer. I mean, I get it, not all parents chose to see their kid that seldom. I realized it a little bit how detached I was from Nick when I was home on leave. I’m not used to taking care of somebody. While I’m here, I’m just taking care of myself. I have no doubt that I’ll fall back into the groove when I get home, but it’s quite bothersome now. I can’t imagine spending this long away from him ever again. I bet I’ll change my mind when he turns 15 or so, but until then. I just want to carry him around with me in my pocket everywhere I go.

I feel like being here, for this “year” I have missed a lot. Nick’s whole kindergarten year of school. Him learning to read and write and spell. He’s grown so much as a person since I’ve been gone. Sitting back and thinking about it, I realize that no matter when I’m gone, I’ll miss SOMETHING, so I shouldn’t dwell on it too bad. I’m doing what I have to do. To get that money and to do my part as a soldier.

And on that note…I’m going to go give my little munchkin a call. Ring ring.

Goosebumps

So...yep....

uh huh....

Not much going on around here....It's hotter than hell (which I hear is PRET-TY hot) and there seems to be more creepy crawlies around here than ever before. That includes the gross ones that we won't talk about, but also...lizards. Lots of baby lizards, actually. Picture included.

At 5:30 am, I walk outside and get goosebumps...oooo, it's kinda chilly, I'm thinking to myself...I walk by...it says it's 80 degrees. That's ridiculous. Our bodies are gonna hate the weather in America when we get back. Guess what will warm us up? Beer. Oh, and the love and warmth of our friends and family. Yeah, blah blah blah...that too. ha. jk peeps...jk.

I'm never gonna say going out to the desert for training is "hot" again. Ok, that's probably like when you wake up with a hangover and say "I'm never drinking again"....I'll probably whine about it being hot in the harsh deserts of Idaho...but deep down, I will know, it's not Iraq hot. Thank you eight pound six ounce newborn infant jesus.

What else...OH, mom got the house moved. She's such a trooper. Taking care of my dogs, kid, bills, and even moving my house while I'm gone. She gets a gold star. Winner winner, chicken dinner. I can't wait to go home to the new house and get comfy. I can't wait to make it my own. I've already started looking online for new furniture and I have all these plans that will probably never pan out, but a girl can dream, right?

Unfortunately, I missed the 4th of July. I guess, I didn't MISS it, because I was awake/alive/semi-conscious  for it, but I mean, I missed the FUN 4th of July, where you get to BBQ and watch fireworks with the family. The prices we pay for some college money. :) Iraq can take away my holidays and my enthusiasm for outdoors activities, but they can't take away my dreams. This time next year...hopefully we'll be on vacation. We'll keep this vacation family oriented and in the United States. ha