Custodial

Today, I sat here and played a zombie shooting game for about 5 hours. When everybody else decided they had better things to do (watch movies and tv shows), I minimized all programs and saw a picture of my son as my desktop picture on my lappy toppy. Then I started thinking how much I miss and love him. And then I realized that, besides a month long “vacation” (Hurricane Katrina clean-up) back in 2005 with the Guard, this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing my son (BY A LONG SHOT). I’m sure that everybody else on this deployment has their story about who has been away from their kid the longest and blah blah blah, but this isn’t their story, now is it?!? And they wouldn’t tell it as good as me anyway. Ha. Anyway, then I started thinking, even when he is driving me up a wall, I don’t ever want to be away from him for more than a day. Don’t get me wrong, a night out, or a weekend away is always enjoyed, but there is always a thought in the back of a parents head like “wonder what the kids doing” or “wonder if he even realizes I’m gone” ha. Well, I take that back, it’s the good parents that are worried about it.

You see, I’ve never NOT been the custodial parent of Nick. He has spent the night at friends houses, and weekends with family, but this is just ridiculous. I couldn’t imagine being a parent that only sees their kids every other weekend or just two weeks in the summer. I mean, I get it, not all parents chose to see their kid that seldom. I realized it a little bit how detached I was from Nick when I was home on leave. I’m not used to taking care of somebody. While I’m here, I’m just taking care of myself. I have no doubt that I’ll fall back into the groove when I get home, but it’s quite bothersome now. I can’t imagine spending this long away from him ever again. I bet I’ll change my mind when he turns 15 or so, but until then. I just want to carry him around with me in my pocket everywhere I go.

I feel like being here, for this “year” I have missed a lot. Nick’s whole kindergarten year of school. Him learning to read and write and spell. He’s grown so much as a person since I’ve been gone. Sitting back and thinking about it, I realize that no matter when I’m gone, I’ll miss SOMETHING, so I shouldn’t dwell on it too bad. I’m doing what I have to do. To get that money and to do my part as a soldier.

And on that note…I’m going to go give my little munchkin a call. Ring ring.

Goosebumps

So...yep....

uh huh....

Not much going on around here....It's hotter than hell (which I hear is PRET-TY hot) and there seems to be more creepy crawlies around here than ever before. That includes the gross ones that we won't talk about, but also...lizards. Lots of baby lizards, actually. Picture included.

At 5:30 am, I walk outside and get goosebumps...oooo, it's kinda chilly, I'm thinking to myself...I walk by...it says it's 80 degrees. That's ridiculous. Our bodies are gonna hate the weather in America when we get back. Guess what will warm us up? Beer. Oh, and the love and warmth of our friends and family. Yeah, blah blah blah...that too. ha. jk peeps...jk.

I'm never gonna say going out to the desert for training is "hot" again. Ok, that's probably like when you wake up with a hangover and say "I'm never drinking again"....I'll probably whine about it being hot in the harsh deserts of Idaho...but deep down, I will know, it's not Iraq hot. Thank you eight pound six ounce newborn infant jesus.

What else...OH, mom got the house moved. She's such a trooper. Taking care of my dogs, kid, bills, and even moving my house while I'm gone. She gets a gold star. Winner winner, chicken dinner. I can't wait to go home to the new house and get comfy. I can't wait to make it my own. I've already started looking online for new furniture and I have all these plans that will probably never pan out, but a girl can dream, right?

Unfortunately, I missed the 4th of July. I guess, I didn't MISS it, because I was awake/alive/semi-conscious  for it, but I mean, I missed the FUN 4th of July, where you get to BBQ and watch fireworks with the family. The prices we pay for some college money. :) Iraq can take away my holidays and my enthusiasm for outdoors activities, but they can't take away my dreams. This time next year...hopefully we'll be on vacation. We'll keep this vacation family oriented and in the United States. ha

Spirituality

As I mentioned before, Melissa sent me the book “SoulPancake” and for those of you that don’t know anything about it. Read about it HEREERERE. In the Introduction, Mr. Rainn Wilson talks about how he wrote this book to spark conversation and make you think…and that’s what I plan on doing. Anyway, since there is so much in the book, I told Melissa that she should give me a page number and I would do whatever is on that page (assuming it’s doable, considering where I am) and then blog about it. Melissa said page 21…so here it goes. 

For those of you that can’t follow along in your own copy, the section is “The Brain & The Soul” and the topic is “Spirituality”.

“I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation” - Bill Maher

See the "orb"?

Let me start off by clarifying my lack of religious views. I don’t have any religious affiliation. I went to church when I was younger but that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate on people that are religious, most everybody I know is religious in some aspect. One of the definitions is “concerned with religious values”, but when I think of the word and idea of Spirituality, I don’t think of religion at all. The definitions I relate to better are “of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit; incorporeal”, and “related or joined in spirit”. One of the most recent and most important life experiences I’ve had that relate to this Noah’s death. I have a few pictures of my son where there are “orb”s in the pictures, and Nick tells me that he talks to his dad and sees his dad sometimes still. I believe in spirits, in more of an energy and presence (emotional and mental more than physical) sort of way, than in the religious aspect. But to each, their own, right?

The "exercise" (for lack of a better word) on the topic is for me to re-define what spirituality is and isn't. This blogging about conversations topics is gonna be hard if you guys don't give me some feedback...so...we'll see...

Spirituality is ....feeling the presence of somebody who has passed away with you.  ....swimming in the river and feeling the bond with nature.   ....the calm or the chaos inside your head when you encounter a moral dilemma 

Spirituality isn't... OK, I can't think of anything for that one...

I need you guys to help get this party started....

“The first act of awe, when man was struck with the beauty or wonder of nature, was the first spiritual experience.” by Henryk Skolimoski.

Leave

HOLY CRAP - IT'S HOT!! Just to put it in perspective, it was 122 degrees or more (the temperature gauge out there doesn't go higher than that) at about 3pm yesterday. It was still 95 degrees at 10:30 last night. It was also only like 60 degrees most of the time I was in Idaho, so going from that to this is CRAP.
Before I start getting into the Soul Pancake stuff, I'm gonna write this blog about when I went home on R&R Leave. I left the 16th and got home on the night of the 18th I think. I managed to surprise my mom, Nick and sister, so that was fun. Mom almost broke my back she was hugging me so damn hard. I had a wonderful time at home. It was the fastest 15 days of my entire life.
I got to hang out with a lot of friends. The BBQ was pretty much a blast. Tons of people showed up. Some people that couldn't make it to the BBQ came by another night while I was home. I consumed a VERY large quantity of Bud Light Lime while I was home. I also drank some Blue Moon and some other things that were equally delicious. I couldn't even start to thank everybody (individually) who came by over the 2 weeks, so here is this: THANK YOU for coming to visit me, make me feel missed and loved. I loved every second I got to spend with everybody! :)
I also got to hang out with family, some more than others. It was really great getting to see everybody really. Even if it was watching Grandma puke on the side of the road on a Saturday night like some binge drinking teenager. It was NOT funny. Ok, it was, but I'm sorry. Poor Grandma. Love you tons :) Sammy hung out a bunch and she even taught me how to make tutus (your secret's safe with me Sammy).
Nickolas was so fun. Randomly he'd tell me things like "I missed you so much when you were in Iraq" and "I'm so glad you're home from Iraq". What a sweetheart.
OH, and my dogs, yeah, they missed me and I missed them and they loved me and I loved them. Freakin love those mutts.
and I started dating my exboyfriend again. btw - it's going great haha

Curses

Curses to you, internet, for being so amazing and full of crap. I figured I didn't have much to blog about because nothing was going on around me. LITTLE DID I KNOW, I could be blogging about the crap I do on the internet all the damn time. This should make for an interesting collage of crap for your eyes.

I should have waited til I scored a LITTLE higher,
now I'm a little embarrassed....

I would like to first, call some attention to this game called Bejeweled. I liked it, and I played it before, but in the last couple months, I have become AMAZING at it. I'm talking, EPIC PROFESSIONAL. There are still people on my friends list that score higher than me (I have this forsaken game as an app on Facebook), but I don't think any of them have put in the hours that I have. Actually, I don't think it's possible for anybody with a life and job to put in as many hours as I have. I don't even play it to get a high score anymore. I just play it CUZ I CAN. That's stupid, right? WRONG. I play it while my Cityville loads....yeah, I'm one of THOSE people. I play it while I'm watching a movie, while I'm talking to people, I actually will start a game after this paragraph to think about what else I want to talk about. Believe that. The thing I don't get is...how are they making money off this? I pay WAY too much for my internet here, but you know these A-Holes aren't forking out money to anybody else, and I don't pay for Facebook, so I don't get it. Whatever, I don't really care, actually. I still can't decide...if I ever meet the dude that invented/developed/created (WHATEVER) this game....I can't decide if I want to marry him or beat the shit out of him. We'll see what happens.

There is this new blog that I can NOT stop reading. Well, it's not new, but it's new to me. I think Sammy introduced me to it, and apparently everybody knew about it before I did. It's called Hyperbole and a Half and if you have never heard of it, or read any of it, you need to. Be warned: you may pee yourself from laughing so hard. I started from the first blog she posted and have been working forward in time. The link I am providing you with is one from 2009, but one of my favorites so far. Besides the fact that this chick is HILARIOUS, I would like to also state that she grew up in Idaho, so that may or may not explain a lot of things ahead of time. Enjoy!

And just to throw some random internet crap out there that I become absorbed with are sites like Damn You Auto Correct, it's sister site, Epic WTFs, Natalie Dee, and the As Seen On TV website is good for some entertainment (keep credit cards in a safe place). I also use Wikipedia a lot, even though, I KNOW I KNOW....it's not that reliable since anybody anywhere can put information on it. Nerdy, but I use Merriam-Webster a lot, and of course GOOGLE!!!!!!!

Unrelated to the internet. Happy Easter. (boring)....
Oh, and Melissa sent me a copy of SoulPancake...and that will probably spark some very interesting blogs, so stay tuned..........or not.

But you probably should check back every once in awhile....just in case I talk crap about you.

Or say something hilarious....

Or offer money to readers....ok, that won't ever happen, but just in case it does....

Eyes

Well, this is about the 4th time I've sat down and started this blog. I don't know if it's the fact that I can't concentrate or the fact that I don't WANT to concentrate. Thank you to Dustin, Sauce, and Tom's song "Why Not" I have a little inspiration :) Besides the fact that I have some very talented friends, I also have a very strong willed Mom #2, and an amazing son. For those of you that follow me here from Facebook, you probably know that I had a Noah day the other day. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Noah, but some days are longer and harder than others.

The Noah story, whether you know it or not, here it is again :) I'll try to shorten it up a bit...

Noah and I met in High School. We hung out every once in awhile and partied at the same places every once in awhile, but we weren't really close. The beginning of 2004 we met again and we were totally crazy about each other instantly. We were dating for about 4 months, and he decided to go out East to work with his dad for a little bit and make some money. Soon after he left, my unit got called up for a deployment. We (the unit) have to go through what the Army calls an SRP (Soldier Readiness Process) which is where we get all our medical, financial....stuff taken care of. Well, before you go overseas, there are about 8billion shots you have to get, but before that, if you're a female, they give you a pregnancy test. And you'll never GUESS what happened....well, it was the pee-on-the-stick kind, and they "couldn't be sure" so they sent me down to get some bloodwork done. Well, that was it, they spun my blood and said "Congratulations" and I cried. I bawled actually. I was only 19, what the hell was I going to do with a KID!?!?

I think I told Noah about 2 days after I found out because I was so nervous about telling him over the phone. He took it better than I did. He didn't cry, anyway. Well, needless to say, it didn't take us long to get excited. Anyway, fast forward....Nick came into our lives and everything was amazing. He was the cutest, smartest, most awesome kid to exist. Noah was working night shifts and coming home and watching Nick while I went to work during the day. They would go to the park and feed the birds, they would feed the horses behind the house, they'd play at the playground. They had the best times together.

Slowly something happened to our relationship. I'm not going to say I was the easiest person to live with, but when Noah decided he didn't want to grow up, I made the choice of taking care of Nick over the choice of trying to take care of Nick AND Noah. I could only handle one at a time. Noah and I were together on and off for about 4 years. I saw sides of Noah that many people never got to experience. When he wanted to be, he was the most amazing father and boyfriend that anybody could have ever imagined.

September 2009 was one of the hardest months I have ever dealt with in my entire life. There are only 3 people that really know what happened that night, but here's how "they" say it did. It doesn't matter what article I read, they all piss me off. That link is new to me. First I've seen of it, and they all drive me insane. Make me read into it. I can't stand it sometimes. Sometimes it takes everything in my being just to close all browsers and stop obsessing.... Back to THEN....Nick wasn't even 5 yet when his dad was killed....or should I say, when his dad died. I don't know if it was better or worse that he didn't get it. He didn't know the pain of death, because his idea of "death" was that of video games where you just come back. The pain he felt was looking around and seeing his mama, his grandmas, and everybody he knew crying. For days.

From Noah, I have the most amazing son anybody could ask for. I get to see Noah every time Nick gives me the NoahScowl, every time he looks at me (he definately got his daddy's eyes) in general, and you'd be surprised the little stuff that he does that is just like his dad. Noah also connected me with an amazing family that I couldn't be more proud to be a part of. Noah's whole family has been just amazing to Nick and I. They are the greatest people. Yvonne is my Mom #2.

Noah and I may not have been together when he died, and we may not have always agreed or been the best of friends, but when it comes down to it....we loved each other. I loved him for the dad he was, the dad he was going to be, the man he dreamt of being, the man he was, and the dreams he had. So, this one, is for you Noah Anthony Hopper. We love you. We miss you like crazy. XOXOXO

A-Hole

There has been an article that has been brought up that I have decided I wanted to mention. There is an article on the Rolling Stone website about what has come to be known as "The Kill Team". You can read the article for yourself, although it may take you a LONG time. It's about 8 pages long, with some videos. The article is about a platoon of infantry guys part of the Stryker Brigade. I read most of it, but didn't have time (during that sitting) to read the whole thing. It was a couple days ago that I started reading it, and I went to read the rest today and I couldn't. For the last couple days, I have been thinking about the article, and talked about it to a couple people, but I also had a pretty disturbing nightmare about the shit I read. You see, the article is about this platoon that is/was under investigation for some....more than disturbing actions, photos, videos...and such.

The gist of it is that they shot locals for fun. There are other things that the article covers, but that's the main idea. I have all these notes that I took while I was reading that I wanted to touch on, but I...I don't even know. It just makes me sick and mad. Ok, the article (if it can even be referred to as such, being as long as it is) made me mad in a lot of parts. I'm already getting sick of typing the word "article" so I'm going to now refer to it as  the A-hole. The A-hole talks about these guys that all get high and dream of killing local nationals in Afghanistan. I would like to start off stating the obvious (that apparently isn't obvious to all) which is...these guys may be wearing the uniform, but everything they said and did was against what wearing this uniform means. They are heartless animals that somehow slipped through too many cracks in the system.

I know that being in a war zone effects many people different ways, but there are systems in place that are put there to protect people, whether that be soldiers, third country nationals, and everybody else. As other systems, there are cracks and there can be people that slip through. This A-hole touches on that specifically; the fact that all this stuff happened and nobody stopped them. I want to put in my two cents, saying that some of the stuff that is said to have happened, I don't believe. I just think that some of the stuff that had supposedly happened would have raised flags when it didn't. BLAH!

I don't know. I guess I don't really wanna talk about this as much as I wanted to. It just pisses me off. I am pissed off at those guys for being total douchebags, and for making people in the military look like assholes. We aren't all assholes. On that note, I would like to say that, through this deployment, I have met some amazing people. They say that when you are deployed with people, they become your other family. I didn't really understand until now. Besides the obvious factors of living together, sharing things, working together, and just seeing each other on a daily basis, there are the other factors like the emotional connections and the friendships that are created. When I was first assigned to this unit, I will admit, I was kind of bummed because I didn't know anybody. Now I feel very lucky to have met these people that I may not have ever met otherwise. There are so many people here that I don't doubt would have my back, and whether they know it or not, I would have theirs. And now it's late and I'm afraid I'm not making sense. Off we go.

Corruption

It's wrong on so many levels. I'm awake and it's almost 3 a.m. About an hour ago, I told my friends from back home that were online (I love this whole time difference thing) that I was going to bed. After tossing and turning and not sleeping, I've risen. My stomach is screaming at me "I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS" because I haven't fed the ol guts in about 10 hours, and that was the first time in about 24 hours. I've got myself into such a weird schedule that I don't know when I'm supposed to be asleep, when I'm supposed to eat, and which way is up. The only one thing I can rely on is working out. I can't say I go because I want to, because...well, I don't want to, I'd rather sleep, but I'm so glad that I go, every time I do (after the fact, obviously). My legs haven't felt like anything but minced meat in at least a week. My thighs better be the hottest things in the world after all that I've put them through during these work outs. (or they'll gang up on me with my tummy and probably turn against me). This happens to be one of the reasons I don't like working out though....being ridiculously sore afterwards. Yeah, I know..."it gets better the more you do it" blah blah blah...but you know what, last time I ran THROUGH the pain, my knees about exploded....literally. My knees were so swollen that the skin on one was tighter that it's supposed to be. Yeah. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I don't know what else to write about.....um...Oh yeah, today was the "Day of Corruption" they told us. I tried googling that shit and it doesn't exist according to Google. I know what "corruption" means, but really, I have no idea what this day was supposed to mean for Iraq, if it was, in fact, said day. They are just all jazzed up all the time and trying to fight the system we're putting in place....or something. I really don't know. Either way, as you all probably know, I MADE IT THROUGH THE DAY OF CORRUPTION!!!! Not even a scratch....that's not true, my legs are KILLING me. haha. That, my friend, is a prime example of my tasteless humor. Eat it up.

One more thought before I leave you....hookah. We had a hookah night again tonight. It's so relaxing and addicting. I don't mean, like additives and nicotine addicting, but...well, I don't know what I mean. I just meant that it was relaxing and nice, and I would like to do it again very soon. Maybe that's the sleep calling my name....keep it real.

Ruthless

I've heard that it's St. Patrick's Day. Let's talk about that for a second. First, let me say that I had no idea. Everyday is the same here and holidays just aren't what they used to be when I was home. The only reason for celebrating usually is because Nick loves the festivities, but without him, there isn't much to celebrate. Second, I did some reading and realized I really had no idea what St. Patrick's Day was REALLY about. I won't go into it all, because you all can, obviously, read it yourselves if you want. Maybe I'm being ignorant, but I just like the idea of dressing up my handsome son in green (he looks great in all colors really).

see!!?!! :)

Also I was going to say something a long time ago about commenting on my own Blog. At first, I wasn't going to, and I still haven't (as of this second) but I have noticed there are enough from all of your guys that I feel like I should respond just so you all know that I'm reading them and appreciating them. So, that's what I'll do from now on.

To the Iraq Grind... I recently got moved to a new section, which I couldn't be more excited about. I work with some amazing people and it's a ton of fun. I'm now a designated driver for an MRAP...it's still a little intimidating to drive, but honestly, it's so beefed up and amazing, I feel pretty ruthless about it. Here's a picture of one I took a while ago. Not even one of ours, but I'll get some pics up of me lookin all hardcore soon enough. I will probably throw in some pictures of the people in my new section sooner than later, if I can get them to act semi normal for a picture. :)

Well, that's all I have for now. I'll keep you posted on all the exciting adventures of my deployment. pfft.

Whisper

I've figured that since not much of anything is going on, ever, I would spend some time expressing to the blogging world my love for cheese. Ok, not really, because what would I really say besides, "I LOVE CHEESE"? I could go on to tell you that I love cheddar cheese (mild and sharp), swiss cheese (just not by itself), wasabi cheese, American cheese, Colby-Jack, Provolone, Muenster, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, Nacho Cheese....and I just found out that there are so many kinds of cheese I didn't even know about. Holy cheesy madness. I need to get a hold of Amy and inform her of all the cheese we've been missing out on. She introduced me to many kinds of cheese that I hadn't had before too, but I can't remember any of their names. Whatever, that's enough about cheese...although, I could really go for a grilled cheese sandwich with Pepperjack and Provolone. Mmm. Crap, now I forgot what I was really gonna talk about.

I figure I'll do a hot little shout out to some of my peeps. I pretty much hate the term "shout out" and only use the word "peeps" because it sounds so ridiculous. I have come to the realization that I use the term "hot" to describe a lot of things though. Temperature, spicy, quick, awesome, sexy, and of course, cheese. Ok, I made that last one up. ANYWAY, back to the subject at hand....the "shout out"...which I choose to refer to as the "whisper in" for obvious reasons. My Whisper In for the day will be....SAMMY!!!!!! *and the crowd cheers*

Sammy is my cousin who is closest in age, and we grew up together. I bullied her around and yelled at her for the most of her life. I thought it was fun, but I later found out, it wasn't quite as fun for her. She remembers everything. My bad. But she's pretty much amazing and I love her. I just found out that she has a blog that I would LOVE to share with you. She hasn't updated it in a while, but I figure if you people go check it out, it might encourage her to get on with it. This "hot" Whisper In will just be short and too the point, because I know Sammy doesn't like being made the center of any attention.

I love her and she is amazing. The End.

Flampo

Today is the day that celebrates the birth of my mother, 28 years ago (again). She's already having a horrible day. Seems as though there was an electrical outlet problem already, which affected (or effected, I never know the difference) the internet connection. It always pisses her off when the internet connection gets jacked up because I think she may like chatting online with me. Weird right? And she's having typing difficulties today due to a band aid on her finger (I didn't even ask). Poor lady sent me a sad face with a tear and she's only been awake for a couple hours on her birthday. Well, I have a surprise in store for her.


I'm sending my dear cousin to get her some flowers and deliver them for me. It should look like this. Actually, I hope it looks nothing like that. That may be one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. Leave it up to the internet and Google. Due to the time difference, I probably won't get to be awake when Sammy picks out and delivers the flowers, but I'm sure it will all be amazing. I just hope that she doesn't cry. Well, I guess since I don't have to be there, Sammy will have to deal with it. I don't deal well with people crying.

^Me      &      Mom^

For those of you who DON'T know my mom, you're pretty much missing out. She's pretty much awesome. She and I, of course, didn't always get along, because who can really be friends with their teenage rebel daughter? I was pretty close to driving her crazy I'm sure. She is most definitely one of my best friends. We have arguments and all that once in awhile, of course, but we are both pretty laid back and we thoroughly enjoy each other's company. I'm not a big secret keeper, but my mom knows probably 98% of my business. She's pretty accepting like that.

Nick, Tonka, & Jealous Tate :)

And besides the fact that, while I'm here, she's at home, holdin down the fort. Taking care of Nick, who we all know can be a handful. She's also taking care of Tate and Tonka (the dogs), Ray and Haley (the cats), and Buster, Brutus, Shiniqua, Shasta, Barbie, Flampo, and Picachu (the fish). Ok, The fish don't have names, but if they did, I'm pretty sure those would be their names. Plus, I think there are more than that anyway. I'll have to name them all when I get back. Remind me. ANYWAY, yeah, Mom's at home, takin care of all the important stuff, while I sit here on vacation at my beach resort. Minus the beach. And minus the resort.

So, as I was writing a long awaited reply letter to Colie, I came to the conclusion that I REALLY wish I had a quarter for every time I heard someone say any rendition of the phrase "Learn something new everyday". I would be effing RICH. That being said, I'm off to bed. I have another eventful day tomorrow, and I have a lot of catching up to do on my beauty sleep. rawr.

Existence

Let's get this shakin....today, in Iraq was the "Day of Rage". You can read about it here, here, or here. Not to say those are the best of sources, take it as you will. It's all about the people wanting what they don't have, (isn't it always?!) which if I recall correctly, is jobs. In essence of course. I try not to get all caught up about politics, because (well, mainly) I don't find it all that interesting most of the time. I also try not to get too informed because if I start to form my own opinion on certain matters, it makes things...different. Plus, as I see it, there is no real way of finding out a lot of information. I will say, with most certainty, that all media is bias, so that makes it hard to come to my own conclusion. Either way, Day of Rage had everybody on high alert today. Still are. It's all very dramatic around here all the time. Keeping complacency from taking over, I suppose. Eh.

There have been two times in my life where I noticed that the good friends and the crappy friends separate themselves. The first one was moving from the party scene to the baby scene. Once I got preggo and I couldn't go out partying and all that, I noticed a lot of "friends" that ceased to exist. Or ceased to recognize my existence, however that works...Don't get me wrong, that was a blessing in disguise. Who wants their kid to be around a bunch of sketchy, flaky people anyway. This is the second time, my deployment. I don't expect everybody to send packages, or whatever. I know that people have busy schedules, but with this technology, it's even easy to FAKE being a good friend. Some people are too ignorant for that. I realize that people have things going on, but when I've been away from home for 6 months, out of Idaho for 5 months, and out of the COUNTRY for 3 months and there are people asking me what I'm doing next weekend...wtf. Seriously? I guess it's nice of them to ask, but way to pay attention people. Whatever, that was my rant about that.

Let's talk about my son when I Skype or call. Apparently, there was some conversation between my mother and him at some point that he is now under the assumption that he has to come up with a certain number (which varies each day) of things to talk to me about when I call. It's usually four things. The other day he gets on the phone and this is how our conversation goes: Nick; "Hey Mama!" Me:"Hey, Handsome man, how are you?" Nick: a little giggle "I'm doing good. I have to tell you four things and then you can talk to Grandma, ok?" Me; "Ok, let's here it." Nick: "Well, the first thing is that I always miss you." Me: "Well, I always miss you too. I miss you so much it makes me want to scream" Nick: giggling "OH MAMA...you don't have to scream, that's silly. Ok, the second thing is that I love you the most." Me: "OH, no no NO, I love YOU the most"  Nick: "Ok, and the third thing is that I love to talk to you on the computer" Me: "I love seeing your cute little face on the computer too." Nick: "and the fourth thing is that you have beautiful hair" I don't know where he gets this stuff, but I love it.

I am far from perfect, this I know. I have made some stupid and some horrible decisions in my life, and I'm sure there are more to come, and I have some horrible crappy days where it feels like there isn't anything else that could go worse....but it doesn't matter.  Whatever happens, all I ever need to make me smile is that little guy. He's pretty much my favorite person in the whole entire world. He is the most accepting, loving, funny, adorable, awesome kid in the whole world. If there wasn't anything that I ever did right besides bring that boy into the world, then I will be fine with that. There are millions of people that he will meet in his lifetime, and they should be so lucky.

iNsOmNiA

Tick, tock, tick, tock...tick FREAKIN TOCK....Ok ok ok...They have me temporarily moved to the day shift, so, after sleeping for a few hours already today, I attempted to go to sleep at a semi-decent time in order to wake up early. Didn't work. I started thinking about  Spartacus and his delicious bod.

Then, I started thinking about things like world peace and how to abolish slavery...only to remember that world peace will never happen, and slavery has already been abolished (well, technically, it will never end, but you know what I mean). Then I started listening to Noah's music. (For those who don't know, Noah is my son's father who passed away Sept 09). Thanks to James Portis and Legit Slangs I can still hear Noah's voice, and see his passion live on long past him. Someday my son will appreciate Noah's music, but I'll wait til he can appreciate hoes and drugs. :) Poor taste in a joke, I know. That's how I roll.

I ordered a fairly inexpensive guitar from good ol Amazon.com and it will take forever to get here, but I'm excited. I have attempted to learn the guitar before, but I didn't spend much time working on it. I hope with my spare time and my newly found love of doing something with my time, I may make some progress. I just hope I don't get frustrated before I get the hang of it. I tend to do that. Don't we all. 

My friends Blake and Amanda had their daughter finally. Little Shelby is just a doll...

We've all been waiting a very long time for this little Princess to be born. She's such a little chunk. I love her already. I hope she doesn't put up a fight when I finally meet her, cuz I'm gonna hold her and swing her around in circles til she loves me. 

They (whoever "They" is) always say that you never know what you have until it's gone. It's not like I'm GONE GONE, but I'm not back at home with all my family and friends, and just being this far away, even with the internet, Skype, phone calls, packages, and letters, I still miss them all like crazy. Who would have thought that I really even liked them all that much. Weird. :)

Anyway, now that I've bored you all a little more for the week, my mission is complete and hopefully I will immediately fall asleep as soon as I close my laptop lid. It's very doubtful, but we can hope. You better hope, too, otherwise I'll be awake, posting things on my Facebook wall and posting 11-12 more posts on here before the sun rears it's ugly head.   OHHHH YEAH...guess what. I smelt Idaho today...well, I walked outside about 30 minutes ago, and it smelt like it does in Idaho right before it rains. That good, fresh smell. I was hoping it would just stay like that, because now you all know what it smells like once it actually starts raining here. (Like shit for those of you who didn't read that before.)

Ok, I'm going to bed for real this time. For real right after I play Bejeweled "once". And maybe check my email. Ok, I won't check my email. Have a good one. Jones out.

Blogalotacus

Ahhh, yes. Another day, another wonderful experience. Or not. I haven't done much of anything today. Well, I managed to sleep for 11 hours. Night shift to day shift, to night shift....gotta love it. But really, whatever. Let's talk about the fact that I have a follower. It's my cousin, and she's almost obligated to be my follower, but I still feel like I should send her a gift basket or something. Seems like a big deal, especially since I've had like 70 views, only two comments and one follower. Doesn't seem like I'm getting the reaction that I should be. Whatever. I suppose my one follower and I will just have to have fun with it. When and what kind of gift basket did you want Sammy?

The weather today is amazing, and apparently that's why I'm inside my CHU, typing on my computer. It's about 65 degrees out would be my guess. Google weather says 64. Either way, it's awesome. It rained yesterday. Let me TELL you about the rain here. When it rains, it pours, seriously. Like a damn monsoon. The ground here is so full of crap that nothing soaks in either, it all just puddles up, and combines with this weird dirt to make the weirdest mud ever. I usually love the rain, but not here. That fresh, delicious smell of rain in Idaho...not even close here. It smells like shit. LITERALLY, like shit.

Then let's talk about rain on glasses. If you wear glasses, you know what I'm talking about. Constantly trying to wipe the raindrops from your lenses, only to have them covered two seconds later again...like finding a dry piece of clothing to dry them off on is an easy task anyway. You win some, and lost most of them, I guess.

I really have nothing else to talk about now though, I've discussed every thought I've had today, just now, in 3 paragraphs. That's sad. Well, that's that.

OH EM GEE

 Don't judge me for posting again so soon. I've already become obsessive.

I just want to clarify some things that I may not have covered in the first post. You remember YOUR first time...it was so sloppy, unorganized and it wasn't as much fun as you had anticipated. After all, we had no idea what we were really getting ourselves in to...right? Right.

I want to give you the low down on me...moi...thou...yours truly....
First of all I HATE HATE HATE flies...and there is one flying around me....taunting me...pissing me OFF! "Why don't you get up and kill the SOB" you ask? I TRIED THAT. You know how flies are...as soon as you go looking for them, they become invested in this game that they have mastered, known as hide and seek.  Makes me want to catch him, pull his little wings off and burn him alive....but I won't do that, because I don't want to touch it, at all. I want to spend even less time looking at it. Ok, so now that we got that out into the open...moving on...

I am under the assumption that people other than my friends & family can read this, which is fine...kudos to them if they have the patience to try and figure me out. I'll make it a little easier anyway. I am awesome. That's all you really even need to know. Ok, that's not necessarily true...all the time.
Really though....long story short, I have the BEST support system of family and friends that I could ever ask for. I have a son who is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me (or anybody that knows him for that matter). That's the most of it really. Everything else that needs to be known, will eventually come out.

I also wanted to talk about my diarrhea of the hands. It's like diarrhea of the mouth, but for typing. I have realized on numerous occasions, I have typed things (whether funny, mean, stupid, annoying, or what have you) that I do not recall typing in the first place. Which brings me into my next couple topics: punctuation, grammar, spelling, and capitalization. Punctuation: I try, for the most part, to use it correctly, but sometimes I just don't care. (Or I don't know any better.).I use lots of dot dot dots (...) and I may overuse the comma at times. Sometimes, I use it randomly, whether, it; fits! or? not. Grammar: It's pretty much the same as punctuation...I try, but...whatev. Spelling: I use the crap out of Merriam-Webster, but sometimes, I don't care enough, plus Google Chrome has a spell-check feature to yell at me when I'm wrong. Capitalization: I am trying to grow up and work it into my typing, but it doesn't always make it. Just so you know.

My diarrhea of the hands is also connected to my diarrhea of the brain, mouth, and the gutter my mind sits in most days. I combine words. It's ridiculously frequent how often I do it. I've done it in my head about 40 times already through this post. (We ARE still talking about combining words, not doing IT it. Now who's the perv...) I cuss. I actually cuss a lot. I say them all too. I can be tactful about it sometimes...but other times....other times they come in mass quantities. I will only apologize this once. Due to the fact that if you're reading this, you are an adult and can read cuss words without it seeping into your soul and causing anguish, or you are a child, and you've heard them before, or your parents aren't screening your internet usage like they should. SHIT. There, just felt like I needed to prove a point. Last, but not least...poop. I talk about it a lot, not like actually pooping or anything, but just poop in general. It makes me laugh. It was accidentally one of the first words my son learned how to spell.

Well.....yep.....hopefully, I can withhold from starting another post for at least 24 hours. We'll see. Good day. Poop ass.

Have Mercy On My Soul

Can you believe it? It's really happening...It is the beginning of a beautiful new Blog. Ok, maybe not beautiful but a new blog nonetheless. I just popped my own Blog cherry. Gross. Speaking of....ok, just kidding. I would like to say that I think it's funny that I put an adult warning on this blog. I felt it was necessary if I felt like cussing, which, surprisingly, I don't feel like doing that now. hmm...I must have a fever.


I will have to write much more frequently than I was before. I also think I should think of more entertaining things to talk about. But I guess blah blah blahing is what I'm pretty good at. Either way, I am pretty stoked about this finally working. I hope it's not a total let down, considering I've been trying to get this whole nonsense up and running for about a month now. I'm sure my epic internet has a large part to do in it, so I will not hold a grudge. Now if only I had something interesting to talk about. And if I only knew what kind of things I could do with this...when I think of something interesting to talk about, I'll include some sort of picture to go along with it. 


I've read other people's blogs (Launa's and Mitch's) so I get it...buuuuuut, I just need to find my own blogging style...or whatever that means. I've read some amazing blogs. I don't care how stupid that just sounded...uh...read.....whatever. I just don't want to be a blogger that blogs into the blogtoilet. That doesn't make sense, but you know what I'm getting at. And as we all know, this beautiful resort I have been spending my days lately.....minimally entertaining. I'll just try and make the best of it I suppose.


I didn't take much time thinking this color theme through, so it may or may not change....With that, I am going to get some shut-eye and I'll probably be back before you know it. Toodles.